No One Reads This

like 90% of blogs. So that means i can say whatever I want.
Leprechaun 23 skidoo. bloop bloop blop.
ahh that was cathartic. Well whos my audience? The hollow reverberation of empty interwebs? 24th century blog paleontologists?
Datamining the blogosphere archives to see how we really lived back then? Well we stay up late because we have no jobs and dont do anything of consequence. We live with our parents until our girlfriends scrape enough money working at the airplane table factory to get us into town where all the kids are. Then we get drunk and make culture happen. And maybe get careers. But first we must be the pirates and innovatrs of our age!! My role models didnt have steady jobs (for the most part). They didnt do anything except for what they felt called to do .. at least thats my idealized version.

And I cant seem to keep a train of thought. This newfangled (>20 years old okay?) internet thing has got me adhd'd to heavens gate. i cant seem to think anything with out getting derailed. And i stare at this glowing box for hours on end.
This is what happens when you raise a generation with the idea that they'll get jobs if they go to college and when they graduate you say sorry we broke the economy, but blockbuster is hiring, or at least until tehy get put out of the biz by netflix. anyway enjoy yourself. I need to get where the accion is, where there are young people doing things.

I want to build a motorbike, I want to make crazy jam music, I want to have FUN i want to play guitar I want to create beautiful sounds for the peoples of the world. and get famous doing it. or at least be an engineer and design stuff. but heres my boggle with that: you have to take 3 years of heavy math (calc 1 2 3, etc) but you probably wont end up using it. I just want to use my potential. I feel lost in this world sometimes. I forget who I am, forget my true potential, to rock. I get lost in my surroundings, in what I'm doing on the daily, that i forget to be UltraMe. And I'm not lazy I just feel lost.

So, when I get to an environment where shit is crack a lackin i will open up and be the cosmic snowflake looking flower that i truly am. its just hard to go against the grain of the place you live. old people suburbia etc.

we'll see just how awesome i can be. i just need to find my vortex, my note in the chord my cosmic vibrational resonance reflected in the right place allowing me to truly sing. godspeed.
Z