ॐ नमः नारायणा

Instead of thinking about what I don't want, I thought maybe I should think about what I do want, and set that as the new Template. Here goes:

I want to feel comfortable in my skin
I want to feel sensual love where two beings connect in a spiritual emotional physical psychological way, hearts beating as one, two bodies sharing an electric field of blissful compassion between two souls.
I want to feel motivated, but not by fear, only by the possibilities of what could be manifested.
I want to feel the connection to the source of Being in a healthful, balanced way.
I want the self restraint to not feel victim to compulsions.
I want to experience a natural state of internal balance that comes from listening to bodymind intuition.
I want to be able to feel the healing life energy and work with for my self and others, so that i do not rely on external factors.
I want to be able to give my very best to this world with humility and gratitude.
I want to live the love.and love the life : )
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also i want to take qi gong classes,
i want to develop physical energy and use it for my heart mind

integrate and synchronize heart and mind.
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"CONTACT WITH ESSENCE IS LOVE. LOVE IS OBSCURED BY FEAR AND ILLUSION AND IGNORANCE. THE GOAL OF ESSENCE IS BLISS. BLISS IS ACHIEVED THROUGH TRUE INTIMACY WITH SELF AND OTHER. TRUE INTIMACY IS ACHIEVED IN THE HIGHER CENTERS.(intuition, empathy, integration, telepathy) This is the essence of this spiritual path."
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Big Love!
let the universal love energy flow directly into your pain
allowwwwwwwww
blisss

the love you experience is as big as you let it be
let it be as big as the universe itself
let it be the universe itself

let your heart and your mind join forces
let them act as one
cognition with feeling
feeling with cognition
cognifeeling
cognifeeling is being
without duality or a split
just being
love

make your decision:
'i will learn through joy not pain'
its up to you really